This is way better than the McDonald’s version and I’m going to tell you a fun little story about how it got invented. And here’s a hint. It has to do with Jesus.

Okay to start out, duh, we’re going to use some fish.

I’m using tilapia.

Try to get like as big of a fillet as you can, anything sort of firm will do well, like

halibut or cod. And we’re just going to try to cut it into squares shapes so that it looks a little

bit like McDonald’s even though it’s going to taste way better So for this little interesting shaped thing here, it’s already kind of starting to split there.

So I’m just going to go ahead and cut it down the middle and then trim off like the little

pointy end bits.

Just to kind of try to kind of square it off a little bit and you can still like cook these

and eat them like little fish nibbles or something, but they won’t go on our sandwich because

they’re not perfect.

So then these ones I’ll cut in half, these ones, oh my god, my mom would be so ashamed

of my language, sorry mom, bad grammar.

So there, they’re not exactly square, but they’re rectangular and that’s a type of squares


So then I’m going to just put them in a little bowl here, all the little pieces. Some of them are maybe too tiny and then squeeze some lemon juice over.

Awesome So that’s just going to like brighten up the flavor a little bit, we’re just going to let

this marinate in the lemon juice for about ten minutes. In that time, we can make our McDonald’s rip-off tartar sauce I just want to make sure all the little fishiest get covered.

If you don’t have lemon, you could use a little bit of like white wine vinegar something,

or tarragon vinegar would make it a fancy French filet-o-fish, filet-o-French and that

would be something else entirely.

Okay, I’m going to get set up and we’ll make our tartar sauce while we wait on this marinade.

Obviously tartar sauce starts with a mayonnaise base.

Now if you would like a fancier type of tartar sauce, I have a recipe for one with

parsley and capers and garlic and all this other shit, on our website if you want to

do that, but this is what I think is closest to the McDonald’s tartar sauce which really

just kind of tastes like pickles.

So I just add a little pinch of salt, I’m going to add a little bit of white pepper.

This is my unfancy touch.

I’m sure it’s not in the real thing, but it tastes really good.

And then to make it look McDonalds, this is just some diced up like hamburger dill

slices, just mince them up really tiny and then add in a little bit of that pickle juice

in there too So dump that in Just dump it all in there and then some super minced up white onion as well.

And just like the tinier you can chop it the better.

I’m a magician with a knife You could use a food processor if you have bad skills And we’ll just mix it up

There’s salt on my finger, better give it to the devil.

Oh, that reminds me.

So the story of the filet-o-fish: there was this guy in Ohio that had a franchise when

McDonald’s first started franchising and he wasn’t making any money during Lent because

his area was like 89 percent Catholic or something.

So he like called Ronald McDonalds himself and he was like, look Don, sorry I mean Ron

I’m not making any money over here in Ohio, I need to make a fish sandwich stat before

I go broke.

Filet-O-Fish Sandwich

And Ronald McDonalds was like, I don’t think so buddy.

Then he tasted it and he was like, wow, this is the best sandwich ever, not better than

my hamburgers, but you have my permission to put it on your menu and that saved his

restaurant and then it went nationwide like the next year.

So, there you go.

It’s time to bread the doughnuts, I mean the fish, I mean the doughnuts.

Okay, so I drained the lemon juice off of the fish fillets and now I’m going to add

some milk because milk is a wholesome thing and it does your body good; just enough to


Don’t need to waste it, I’ll drink that later So just get them all in there, they’re hanging out, that’s fine.

And then for the breading part, what I’ve done is I’ve mashed up some oyster crackers

here until they’re very, very fine.

These are oyster crackers.

They taste like saltines, but they look like oysters, I don’t really know why they’re called

that, but that’s a good enough reason I think.

I like to use these when I’m breading stuff instead of saltines because one, they’re cheaper

than saltines by like a few cents, but I’m a frugal b-otch and also they’re already in

tiny pieces so they break up faster.

So all I did was put some of them into this little zip top baggy and crushed them up until

they’re fairly fine.

Most of them are powderish and I’m going to go ahead and add a little bit of plain dry

bread crumbs to that too.

If you wanted to just use bread crumbs, that’s fine, but I felt like the crackers kind of

gives it a better coating.

So just mix that together and the crackers already have salt on them, so we don’t need

to add any salt to this, it’s enough salt with just what’s on the crackers.

And now we’re just going to do the standard milk, crackers, milk, crackers, plate.

Okay, alright, fish fingers.

Okay, once they’re coated you want to put them in the fridge for at least ten minutes

up to two or three hours, so you can make these ahead of time a little bit.

That’s going to help that coating adhere so that when we fry it, it doesn’t just like

fall off into the frying oil either.

So I’ll see you back in ten minutes.

To fry the fish, I’ve got just under about a half inch of peanut oil here, you can use

canola oil, vegetable oil, whatever, you know, stuff like that.

And I’ve got it heated up to about 350.

If you don’t have a thermometer, you can just throw in a little bread crumb like this, just

And you remember when I cut them up, I ended up with two that were a little bit thicker

and two that were a little bit thinner.

So the thicker ones obviously are going to take little bit longer to cook, so I don’t


It’s kind of easier sometimes just to do them together, do the thicker ones together and

then the thinner ones, but basically we’re just going to cook these for about a minute

on the first side, they’ll be nice and golden brown.

Flip them over, do another two minutes or so on the other side until that’s golden brown

and by then, the inside should be perfectly cooked and beautiful and flaky and moist like

a fish sandwich.

There we go.

So just check it.

The second side usually browns slower than the first so see, it’s still pretty pale,

so let it go maybe another minute or so.

If you wanted to make these lower fat, you can also totally bake them.

Just do the breading, spray it with a little bit of you know, spray oil or something, and

bake it on like a tray with a rack like this.

I’m going to use this for draining, but you can just bake it on here at 450 for about

fifteen minutes.

It’s not going to get like as delectably golden brown as these, but it will be crispy and

cooked and it will be much healthier than this or a McDonald’s filet-o-fish.

So, I should have taken a note myself, but…

I just need to stand up straighter Okay, there we go, now we’re talking So like I said, just drain it on a little rack over here and I’ll go ahead and fry my other fish While those are cooling, I’ll microwave a couple little hamburger buns to soften them up and get them nice and squishy like the ones at McDonalds.

Okay, we’re ready, to have fish sandwiches, fish sandwiches, fish sandwiches. I’ve got a little bun here, like I said I just stuck it in the microwave for literally ten seconds and it gets nice and pliable and warm.

I’m going to top it with some American cheese.

Now at McDonalds they’re skimpy little bastards and they only give you half a slice of cheese.

What the hell is American about that?

So we’re going to go ahead and do a whole slice, thank you very much and then we’ll top it with a little fish patty. Let’s see, this one looks good and a big, big hefty blob of your tartar sauce. They do like this much there. I know, because I just ate one the other day And then there you go.

There’s a gorgeous filet-o-fish sandwich for you Then of course you would put the top on and eat it If you like this recipe, also check out my Chick-Fil-A knock-off If you like fried meat sandwiches and if you don’t want to watch that one, then you can watch my chicken fried steak video because I do the same, a very similar cracker crust and you can just see how gorgeous it is It’s delicious.

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